There’s a little bit of hesitation when it comes to sharing what I’ve been dealing with behind the scenes of my blog and social media. The fear of being thought of as an ungrateful and whiny downer (that can also be described in other colorful words) would immediately pull me back. I would hear my inner voice telling me,” Stop. This isn’t what people want to know.” But with the new decade approaching, I find myself yearning to be more raw and unfiltered. I hope this helps you recognize my faults, celebrate my successes, and give you a greater picture of who I am. The things I’ll be sharing with you aren’t even things I have even completely told my close friends and family, so consider it a secret diary entry in my not-so-secret blog. Here’s my lengthy timeline of 2019 (hope you’re reading this post with snacks).
JANUARY
January was a strange month for me. I began the year with returning to the ER after experiencing a very horrible throat infection. I wasn’t exactly in the best spirits to begin 2019, but I remembered being so relieved that 2018 was over. I was ready to move on.
I rested, worked, and counted the days for me to go to West Palm Beach, FL for my solo birthday trip! This was the fourth time I’ve taken a trip by myself on my birthday. I was able to enjoy my new coming-of-age with bliss and isolation. Watch my birthday recap below:
However, I was still able to celebrate my birthday with my family when I returned with a surprise birthday cake and lots of waffle fries – the month ended on a sweet note!
FEBRUARY
I started the month off with making a last minute decision to attend NYFW by myself. The weeks leading up to my weekend trip consisted of me emailing brands for collaborations and pitching sponsorship opportunities. Everything ended up working out fine in the end, but what I valued most from my trip was the beautiful photos taken from this experience. During the trip, I also ended up finally meeting my NYC friends in person after following them on Instagram for years!
However, I felt pretty empty once I returned back to Houston from NYC. The emptiness of my New York City “hangover” made me feel inadequate, frustrated, and really gloomy. I felt like my busy schedule back home was so mechanic and rigid. To combat it, I distracted myself by posting on my blog like crazy and working overtime. During this time, I was also managing to do photoshoots for social media sponsorships and attending events. February was the month were I felt spontaneous. I decided to chop off 13-14 inches of my hair to donate. For more details about my experience, click here.
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New season, new me! Here’s why I spontaneously decided to make the cut 💇 and have a fresh new ‘do!
MARCH
This month was pretty much the highlight of my entire year: I returned home to the Philippines! I attended my cousin’s wedding and danced the night away in Manila. I also ended up visiting new spots in my parent’s province that I’ve never seen before, like Busay Falls and Sumlang Lake. All in all, it was a wonderful time catching up with my extended family. The weather and fabulous tropical views were exactly what I needed to see before I returned back to the US.
While returning home, I also ended making a pitstop in Tokyo for 2 days. I stayed with an old friend I’ve befriended when I once traveled to Honolulu a few years ago. My trip consisted of us visiting the dance clubs, eating amazing sushi, and visiting Tokyo DisneySea together.
APRIL
The wonderful trip I had in Asia made me ready to plan another trip asap. I decided to work with Stay Alfred on a sponsored trip to Dallas and bring along my friend. It was the first time visiting the city since I graduated college, and I was surprised at how healing it was for me to be back. However, nothing about the trip went as planned due to the non-stop rain! Yet, it was great being spontaneous and figuring out our itinerary day-by-day. Wandering around downtown with fresh eyes and a new perspective made me really miss the city.
Afterward my trip, I ended up meeting one of my favorite makeup beauty gurus, Marlena from MakeupGeek, at a private slumber party event. Again, I felt grateful having friends who encourage me to attend fun events and parties as a +1.
MAY
Between trips, I continued feeling really down – so much of it was dealing with work and the amount of time I was alone. The consistent amount of emptiness that I’ve been experiencing led me to finally seek a counselor. This month was challenging for me as I rediscovered layers about my life that I never thought about or analyzed before. Although I have done counseling sessions in the past, I had a different and enlightening experience with my new counselor. I stuck through with secretly continuing counseling sessions for the next three months.
JUNE
This month, I made a lot of big decisions. I decided to return to school to get my master’s degree. I decided to change job positions and completely reschedule my work week to a load I can easily manage. I decided that I wanted to catch up with old friends. I made it my mission to really step back at the hustle of my life and dig deep into realizing the things and people I truly wanted to invest my time in.
While working full-time, I managed to also figure out how to submit a college application for the graduate program of my choice – that meant I had to submit a very lengthy video that demonstrated my musical skills on the piano, guitar, and voice in a variety of genres/styles. The last time I ever did something like that in 2014! Needless to say, that college application took me the entire month to complete. P.S. I remembered how college essays weren’t as fun to write as blog posts.
JULY
July 12th was the happiest day of 2019. I received my letter of acceptance to grad school! I remembered taking a screenshot of it and sending it to all my close friends and family the minute I read the words, “Congratulations!” July, in general, was the month I realized I needed to balance my time with work, school, blogging, and self-care. I navigated this with my schedule.
After my acceptance, I took a family trip to San Francisco and I….wasn’t always the happiest camper. It’s been a while since my family and I have all spent time together due to our schedules, and our different styles of traveling clashed throughout the trip. However, I learned so much about my extended family while I was in SF! I attended a family reunion and rekindled with people in my father’s side of the family.
AUGUST
The last week of August was my first week of grad school! Since it’s been 3 years since I’ve attended school, I was nervous about how well I would do in my courses, but I ended up loving it. I realized how organized and put-together my life is when I attend school.
At the end of this month, my counselor and I decided to only meet on an as-needed basis. I was so proud of how much I accomplished with her and the amount of changes I made in my life in the short amount of months we worked together. While I haven’t gotten into depth about my counseling experience, I hope this encourages people to value their mental health and to take time to understand yourself. Today, I am still so grateful about my experience.
SEPTEMBER
I had breaks during this month to really explore my city. I was able to check out new museums, dine at new food spots, and form new friendships in Houston. It was a great feeling to be grounded in Houston and to take a break from traveling. 
However, that didn’t stop me from doing a sponsored staycation at The Woodlands Resort with my friend! Mel and I had such an amazing time there – if you want to find out more about the resort, click here.
OCTOBER
In October, I was also able to travel to Chicago with Fairmont Chicago for the first time! I loved checking out the city and enjoying all the iconic sight seeing spots.
Between trips, I placed myself in a position where I was constantly stressed out with studying for exams and making deadlines for my blog sponsorships. I spent my entire weekends reading my textbook while writing lab papers every Sunday. And while I was looking forward to Halloween, I had such a hard time planning out my content while working during the week. I made it happen, though! To see my Halloween costume, click here.
NOVEMBER
Did I mention I became homeless? My place was currently being renovated unexpectedly and I had to stay with my relatives during this month. While living out of my suitcase, it was hard trying to balance everything going on in my life. I also struggled with finding clothes that fit me since I also gained 15 pounds since I started school. Needless to say, I felt really insecure with the way my body looked and the way I was living. At the end of the month, I eventually was able to settle in my place again (it didn’t solve my weight gain, though).
However, I had lots of fun furniture and decor shopping!
DECEMBER
I’m not gonna lie…this month wasn’t fabulous either. I was completely stressed out with studying for my final exams while taking a trip to LA in between. I remembered thinking about how my LA trip was the “calm before the storm”….and it was. Every single day after I returned home from LA was filled with stress, anxiety, and lots of unhealthy snacking. I ended up being sick for weeks.
However, there was a light at the end of this tunnel of my emotional stress. I had so many great things happened to me this month – I ended up getting A’s in my classes at the end of the semester, I was able to settle into my new place, and I was able to truly relax and spend time with family.
As I finish off my 2019 Year Review, I also want to assure to you that what I’ve dealt with are lessons from my past. Throughout the process, I really gained awareness of the things I needed to change about myself. To sum it up, the highs and lows of this year has brought me so much more clarity than ever before. All in all, I have a feeling that the events of 2019 are being manifested to bigger-than-life opportunities in 2020.
Thanks so much for reading my first blog post of 2020! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below – would love to hear from you! If you want to follow my journey, please connect with me on Instagram here. Until next time!
Happy to see your year-long evolution! Please share more personal stuff with us as you wish – it’s great to see how far you’ve come!